<rant style=“subject: human­ity; valid­ity: slightly cat­a­stro­phiz­ing but based in reality;”>

Just went to Mis­sion Val­ley Bor­ders to com­fort friends who work there. This morn­ing, dri­ving past, there must have been 100 vul­tures crowd­ing the door. Just now there were hun­dreds and hun­dreds of them, the cashier line going all the way to the rear of the store and back to the front, almost every shop­per with arm­loads of sta­tionery and mass-market crap, DVDs and gift books.…

Where were all you fuck­ers before?!? When every book­store is closed and Wal­mart is our only brows­ing venue out­side of Amazon’s stunted “Look Inside” fea­ture, well, may you and your chil­dren stew in your under-read stu­pid­ity. Go ahead and join Sarah and Michelle in the ranks of library-devaluing “aca­d­e­mic” (read: peo­ple with more than a high school edu­ca­tion) haters, you pathetic stooges and unques­tion­ing Fox news absorbers! Fuck you all!

[UPDATE]
It gets bet­ter! I walked back to my car, tak­ing pains not to be hit in the park­ing lot by the 40 or 50 end­lessly cir­cling cars. When I arrived at mine, two women, both intent on tak­ing my spot, started to inch up so as not to lose the spot to the other. By the time I started back­ing out, they were star­ing at each other, both so close to my car that I could no longer leave. I pulled back in to the spot (had I not had to return to work, I’d have camped there all day just to spite their sorry bitch asses), honked and waited. One of them finally backed up, and after I left, she lost the spot to the other lady, who she pro­ceeded to park in with her white SUV, block­ing all other cars from get­ting past. I only just barely saw the begin­ning of their alter­ca­tion in my rear-view as I got the feck out.

My ongo­ing attempt to not hate peo­ple, and to cul­ti­vate com­pas­sion, is dealt seri­ous set­backs by inci­dents like this. What I should be think­ing is “May all beings be free from suf­fer­ing and the causes of suf­fer­ing,” but instead I am inwardly chant­ing “May all beings who have caused suf­fer­ing suf­fer them­selves. May your cars be dinged, may you be viciously tick­eted by under-quota cops so that the books you pur­chase today cost you three times as much as if you’d bought them from a book-and-mortar before it died.” And then I feel ugly and bad for think­ing ugly and bad things. How come I have to have exis­ten­tial guilt, and none of those ass­holes do? It isn’t fair!

</rant>

<tears style=“frustration: high; despair:high;”>